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That grey area

We are a part of the Masorti community here in Yokneam. Having grown up in Reform communities, engaged with Conservative and Orthodox programs and communities during our early adult years (which I hope we're still technically in!), we've been exposed to a great variety of ways to observe Judaism. We were raised by parents and in communities where religious observance is a journey of our lifetimes that ebbs and flows as our life unfolds.

That's not really how Israelis see religion which leads to this diametrical opposition of Religious (aka - Orthodox) and Secular camps with a huge gaping hole in the middle. It's no man's land. Apparently it's extremely dangerous is an unknown kind of way to step foot there. If you are Religious and consider doing something Secular it's the end of time, and if you are Secular and consider doing something Religious, yep, end of time! Well that's a gross simplification because there are certainly people who move between groups. But that isn't always easy, nor welcomed by family and friends.

For example, I mentioned to my two lovely neighbors at various times that the Yokneam Masorti (Ohel Menashe) community was having a Friday night Kabbalat Shabbat service and maybe they would like to come. It seemed like perhaps I was a religious solicitor ringing their doorbells and I imagine that the look on my face when I've had such folks at my door is how they were looking at me! And they each said something like: well that's super nice but I don't get it and it's probably not for me and probably wouldn't go over well with my husband. Or they pointed out in confusion they didn't get why it would be important, even beneficial for a husband and wife to sit together as a family for services. So the answer was thanks, but no thanks.

I have no problem being turned down when I ask for or offer something. I do get puzzled when the rejection comes from a place of total lack of understanding and disinterest in even considering something new and different. Life is too short to pass on opportunities that may enhance our lives. Which is not to say that you need to run out there and buy that new gadget you saw on TV at 3am that you can get for three easy payments of $24.95 plus bonus products galore!

So I found myself in a conversation with one of my kids today about why it is important to me that we go to and participate in the Masorti community here. And he came to understand this paradigm of two polar opposites with space in the middle - he made the analogy of two magnets of the same poles versus two of different poles overcoming the gap to be together. I explained to him that we have to provide another option in the middle to show both sides that there are more choices out there, more ways to be Jewish and more ways to pray as a Jew. And he got it! Now, that doesn't mean he'll be thrilled when it's time to walk over for services this week, but I do think he understands a bit better.

How then to help others see that filling in the empty space between Religious and Secular is not a threat, but rather a strengthening of Judaism as a whole?

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