Skip to main content

Knowing your strengths

It's that hyper-typical interview question: "what is your greatest strength?" or "what are your strengths?" Usually that's followed up with a question about the opposite, but that's for another post.

So from a fairly young, and frankly immature age, we face down this idea of having things we do well, characteristics that are predominant in our nature, skills that we have triumphed over to levels mere mortals only dream of attaining. And so we articulate our answers in the interview setting, or we internalize these sound bites as who we are.

And we grow up, which frankly, I'm mostly dodging! But we do, we mature, we age, we ripen, with time. And hopefully not only do we gain wider perspective, but we deepen our strengths, understand them better, and turn our focus in those directions.

But sometimes we wake one day, literally or figuratively, and realize that we have been following those strengths and we're not sure we like where we are. "But," we say to ourselves, "I'm doing what I'm good at, I'm utilizing my strengths." Yet on the flip side we've gotten complacent, we've reached a professional limit, or we're just not fulfilled anymore. While we might be excellent at what we are doing it's not what fulfills us. Even more so we may find ourselves penned in by this fence we have created by focusing on our strengths.

Now it seems to me, but I don't know yet because I'm still too young to have reached this stage in my life, but we might find that when we come to this realization we are also somewhat stuck. Why? Because we are also now at an age where making a shift or a change, in particular a professional shift, comes with too much risk, challenge, or uncertainty. And so it's simply easier to keep going down that same path, because the end is almost in sight.

Is it really? Are we really being honest with ourselves if we do this? Are we really fulfilling our full potential here on earth if we stay static, even stagnant?

Having not yet reached that point of questioning, I have no answers. But I do know that when I find myself saying to friends or colleagues that X is a strength of mine, I do pause for a moment and think about if that's really what I want to be saying and if I really want to go down that path. Because above all else, I want to be choosing the path I go down, not be pushed down one I didn't mean to start.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Macher or Schmoozer?

I'm working my way slowly through the book Bowling Alone by Robert Putnam . In a nutshell, which has to be pretty big because it's a hefty book, it's about social behaviors and the decline of them in the US - things like voting and participating in the political process at all levels, and engaging with volunteer and community efforts. Chapter six looks at Informal Social Connections. At paragraph two of the chapter he mentions the Yiddish words macher and schmoozer . That stopped me in my tracks for a moment. He continued to explain that fundamentally a macher is a doer, someone who makes things happen in the community. Whereas a schmoozer is a talker, a person with an active social life, someone who focuses on informal connections to others. And while it is certainly nice to sit and talk with someone, at the end of the day that's all a schmoozer does. Alternatively, the macher will sit and visit with you and then either your roped into helping or the macher...

Safe Responsibility

Having already established that the better choice in life is to take responsibility over placing blame - at least if we want to build relationships - the next step is to figure out how to both muster the courage to take responsibility and also build safe environments to allow others to take responsibility. It strikes me, based on a sample size of 3 children, that the fear of consequences is one of the major, if not THE major, hindrance to taking responsibility for our actions. When we don't know how others will respond to our confession, our admission of responsibility, it makes taking that step even harder. Interestingly, in the Rosh Hashanah (New Year) and Yom Kippur (Day of Atonement) services there are a number of times we recite the Vidui (confessional) prayer. It's almost poem like in our alphabetical recitation of our sins and it is done in the communal form - using plural language. We all stand together and out loud list these sins. Obviously the intent is not that...

Family...oy, family

We all come from a family, whether we belong to a family or not at the moment. By family, I mean there are people with whom you are closely, genetically related. I'm tackling a new project this week that involves making a number of phone calls. It's been fun and rewarding so far. Interestingly tonight as I made a few of the phone calls I was struck by some family connected-ness that I encountered. One call was to an old, dear friend. Our lives seem to keep crossing paths in a fairly informal kind of way - enough to keep our friendship alive but not necessarily deepen it or harm it, either. After some time living in other parts of the US she moved back to where she grew up and has sunk down deep roots. I was struck as we finished our chat about how nice that must be for her to be in a place so close to her family. Her family bonds remain strong so when a major family event happens they all gather, even if they all aren't in the same town. It's remarkable, really. A...