Skip to main content

Good? Bad? Better!

It may be technically Monday on the clock now, but my night is still winding down. I thought I would take just a moment to jot down a few thoughts - even as I know being in front of a screen before sleeping isn't wise.

Oh there are so many things we are "supposed" to do, right? Stop the screens X amount of time before going to sleep. Drink eight glasses of water a day, get 30 minutes of cardiovascular exercise a day, eat kale, and on and on. And then we do this crazy thing and bring kids into this world and magically become parents. And that list of what to do...it grows with our kids!

That's my point tonight - I went to see Bad Moms tonight with a mom friend. I was crying from laughing at some points. And a few other times because there was crap in my eye. But that's what happens with age. Seriously, there was an eyelash or dust or something, there is nothing sappy worth crying about in this low-brow film. It brought to my mind the movie Bring It On from days of yore. Another similarly bad, but good, but bad movie that you just have to see with certain friends.

The movie is either trying just to shock the audience into fits of laughter that bring on those tears or make a serious point about how hard it is to parent, in particular, to mother, these days. Just when it seems like the movie has settled into one theme it shifts to the other.

I'm glad we had a 1+1 coupon on the tickets and the coffee!

However, at the end of the day I think that this movie does have the potential of making one stop and consider. Just look and reflect on what one is doing in one's life to decide what is most important and what is less important. The terms "good" and "bad" are very loaded and in particular anytime when they are tossed around children and parents. Instead I would posit that we think about what things are "good for me" and what things are "bad for me" in how I act and behave, whom I include in my life, what I value and prioritize for my limited and precious time. From here, I suspect we will find ourselves more content and satisfied with ourselves and by extension more content and satisfied with what we are able to and have accomplished.

Elul is certainly a time to really take a broad view on what we have been doing, reflect on the picture we thought we were building, and then refocus ourselves to be on the course we want for ourselves and others. Taking a whole month is telling about the depth and complexity of such self-reflection and evaluation needed to find and stay on the right course.

Labels

Labels:

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Macher or Schmoozer?

I'm working my way slowly through the book Bowling Alone by Robert Putnam . In a nutshell, which has to be pretty big because it's a hefty book, it's about social behaviors and the decline of them in the US - things like voting and participating in the political process at all levels, and engaging with volunteer and community efforts. Chapter six looks at Informal Social Connections. At paragraph two of the chapter he mentions the Yiddish words macher and schmoozer . That stopped me in my tracks for a moment. He continued to explain that fundamentally a macher is a doer, someone who makes things happen in the community. Whereas a schmoozer is a talker, a person with an active social life, someone who focuses on informal connections to others. And while it is certainly nice to sit and talk with someone, at the end of the day that's all a schmoozer does. Alternatively, the macher will sit and visit with you and then either your roped into helping or the macher...
Post a Comment
Read more

Safe Responsibility

Having already established that the better choice in life is to take responsibility over placing blame - at least if we want to build relationships - the next step is to figure out how to both muster the courage to take responsibility and also build safe environments to allow others to take responsibility. It strikes me, based on a sample size of 3 children, that the fear of consequences is one of the major, if not THE major, hindrance to taking responsibility for our actions. When we don't know how others will respond to our confession, our admission of responsibility, it makes taking that step even harder. Interestingly, in the Rosh Hashanah (New Year) and Yom Kippur (Day of Atonement) services there are a number of times we recite the Vidui (confessional) prayer. It's almost poem like in our alphabetical recitation of our sins and it is done in the communal form - using plural language. We all stand together and out loud list these sins. Obviously the intent is not that...
Post a Comment
Read more

Family...oy, family

We all come from a family, whether we belong to a family or not at the moment. By family, I mean there are people with whom you are closely, genetically related. I'm tackling a new project this week that involves making a number of phone calls. It's been fun and rewarding so far. Interestingly tonight as I made a few of the phone calls I was struck by some family connected-ness that I encountered. One call was to an old, dear friend. Our lives seem to keep crossing paths in a fairly informal kind of way - enough to keep our friendship alive but not necessarily deepen it or harm it, either. After some time living in other parts of the US she moved back to where she grew up and has sunk down deep roots. I was struck as we finished our chat about how nice that must be for her to be in a place so close to her family. Her family bonds remain strong so when a major family event happens they all gather, even if they all aren't in the same town. It's remarkable, really. A...
Post a Comment
Read more