Skip to main content

A very fine line

There is a remarkably fine line between making excuses and offering explanations. It can be quite challenging to know the difference and that confusion can lead to difficulties. We work hard to help our children learn the difference between making an excuse for behavior versus offering an explanation to help figure out how or why something happened. Sometimes it is helpful to get the background but sometimes it just confuses matters.

The balance between excuse and explain is similar to the one I have been pondering between blame and responsibility. Sometimes when we are trying to assign responsibility we actually end up placing blame.

Both are a bit of a slippery slope that we should only start down with great caution.

Strangely the challenge of excuses versus explanations is more easily addressed with children, which also tells me that it's more commonly understood as opposed to blame versus responsibility. We'd all do better to see the fine line between the two.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Macher or Schmoozer?

I'm working my way slowly through the book Bowling Alone by Robert Putnam . In a nutshell, which has to be pretty big because it's a hefty book, it's about social behaviors and the decline of them in the US - things like voting and participating in the political process at all levels, and engaging with volunteer and community efforts. Chapter six looks at Informal Social Connections. At paragraph two of the chapter he mentions the Yiddish words macher and schmoozer . That stopped me in my tracks for a moment. He continued to explain that fundamentally a macher is a doer, someone who makes things happen in the community. Whereas a schmoozer is a talker, a person with an active social life, someone who focuses on informal connections to others. And while it is certainly nice to sit and talk with someone, at the end of the day that's all a schmoozer does. Alternatively, the macher will sit and visit with you and then either your roped into helping or the macher...

Cooperation isn't a dirty word

I started this slowly evolving blog after hearing Senator Diane Feinstein's inspiring words in the documentary Miss Representation . I find myself, now, even more so, propelled forward by that thought. We are indeed only here on this earth, here engaged with our communities for an instant in what is really an eternity. So our contribute while critical and vital is fleeting. It has been nearly 4 years since I started this blog, and as you can see, I haven't given it a great deal of attention. There is so much to do, so much need in the world, so much good to be done, so much inequality to be called out. How can I even find time to stop for a few minutes, string together a few well chosen words, and even take another minute to review those chosen words? Certainly not when all three kids need me NOW! (Of course they don't really but don't tell them that!) Times have certainly been tough these past three months since the world was rocked by the US election...

Seven Years Back...Seven Years Forward

Eight years ago we decided to take the job offer from Intel and make aliyah. It was a one-way move. It took us another half year to get it all organized. We packed up and moved. Then we arrive. Las year was our sabbatical (שבתון in Hebrew) year, our Shmita year. It was a time for us, whether we knew it or not, to take a bit of a rest, a rest from this exhausting and exhilarating process of absorption into Israeli society. I did a bit of a mental relax, not really a check out, more of a check in - an adjustment of expectations. The history of the State of Israel and the stories surrounding her founding are told in epic, mythical proportions in the diaspora. It's hard as a Jewish child not to be engaged by these stories, won over, even. The challenges were massive and daunting. The confidence and enthusiasm were boundless. The pioneers who founded the State of Israel would be successful. We talk about the heroic establishment of Israel, the heroic history of the country, and t...