An Instant In An Eternity

Having already established that the better choice in life is to take responsibility over placing blame - at least if we want to build relationships - the next step is to figure out how to both muster the courage to take responsibility and also build safe environments to allow others to take responsibility. It strikes me, based on a sample size of 3 children, that the fear of consequences is one of the major, if not THE major, hindrance to taking responsibility for our actions. When we don't know how others will respond to our confession, our admission of responsibility, it makes taking that step even harder. Interestingly, in the Rosh Hashanah (New Year) and Yom Kippur (Day of Atonement) services there are a number of times we recite the Vidui (confessional) prayer. It's almost poem like in our alphabetical recitation of our sins and it is done in the communal form - using plural language. We all stand together and out loud list these sins. Obviously the intent is not that...

We fundamentally have two choices in life - take responsibility or place blame. (Obviously we have many more choices when we are at an ice cream store!) My last post was on family and the challenges that face families in building and maintaining the connectedness that is necessary to an extended family. I was recently at a meeting where the concepts of responsibility and blame were raised. Digging deeper we talked about how when family members recognize their responsibility, recognize their roles and take ownership of them, that's how family is built, supported, and encouraged. On the flip side when family members blame others for the real or perceived faults that blaming act only breaks down and destroys whatever relationship there was. It's hard to take responsibility for ourselves. We work hard to teach our young children to do that. Owning that, "yes, I hit my brother because it was more efficient than talking through my frustrations about him having the last p...