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Technological Silver Linings - According to a Luddite...

A long, long time ago, I can still remember how it used to be...and if you know the start of that song, you're of a certain age either when that song was popular and on the radio, or it was a hit of the oldies in your childhood! Which means you also likely recall life before the internet and websites and blogs (irony not lost here!) and Facebook.


I remember getting our first computer, the Apple IIC. I remember the computer lab at school with a limited number of games to introduce us to this newfangled thing a computer. I remember having a computer of my own in high school - that tiny six inch monitor as part of the all in one computer platform - such an advancement! No internet yet, but not far off - just as I went off to college. I remember learning how to use email and connect virtually and remotely with my friends who were spread across the country. I remember my first generation Mac laptop in college. And now, I have one, if not two handheld computers in my purse or near me at all times. Not to mention the three computers in our house.

Somewhere along the way this website emerged, Facebook. I have a hazy recollection, somewhere around the emergence of The Square (I think?) and MySpace of Facebook. I was at Wellesley at just the right time (is there ever a bad time to be there?) when Facebook expanded beyond the walls of Harvard and invited us to join - hoping to tap into the Most Powerful Women's Network in the World. At the time, I hadn't a clue, no one did, of what this site could become, would become.

Flash forward to today, 2017 drawing its curtains and reading the world for 2018 to arrive, and Facebook is a mainstay on so many computer devices.

I've grappled with why I find myself on Facebook at least once a day, often more than that. I've come to know the following. There is great harm that social media like Facebook cause to our society - teenagers who would rather stay home and interact virtually with each other instead of wrapping up in long phone cords, memorizing their friend's numbers, and hanging at the mall. The generation being raised on Facebook and the like are in fact being harmed by social media, because there is no real need for it in their lives, and technologies are making it so easy for these developing young people to avoid learning social niceties and skills.

There is, I would argue, something quite valuable in Facebook, something quite meaningful in having Facebook and social media as tools in our lives. For those of us who grew up before Facebook, explored the world beyond our backyards, met amazing people, and opened our minds, Facebook helps us maintain connectedness. Through Facebook we can stay connected (in a border-line, virtual-stalker kind of way) with the people who have touched our lives in ways that draw us to stay connected somehow, even as life takes us to different corners of the world. Through Facebook we can make new connections, so far above and beyond what is possible in real life, that the potential for creating impact on the world is unquantifiable. Through Facebook we can find our horizons broadened and our world-view expanded as we are introduced to new ideas, articles, and stories to deepen our understanding of, well, anything.

I picked up the phone last night to call and old and dear friend. I hadn't talked to her in probably 17 years. I invited her to my wedding, she didn't come and it was only after that I learned she had gotten married the day before I did (wearing the same dress, no less!) - some excuse! I had meant to call her or email a million times. With time and Facebook I knew what was in her life and she knew what was in mine, without a direct line of communication; I knew she remembered me and cared about me and was still a friend. Time and distance and silence can make one question those truths. So I picked up the phone, I left her a message, she called back, and we reconnected and talked about how much we missed being in touch, although it felt like no time had passed at all. I don't mean to get all sappy or suggest anyone should allocate significant amounts of time to reading Facebook posts and hunting down friends.

Every time I click on a like or a love or a wow, or even find myself moved to a comment, I know that I am doing something very small to maintain a relationship. In this global era, where one can grow up near Seattle, attend college in Boston, move back to the West Coast and then abroad, it's remarkable to me that I still can find my good friends from college, high school, middle school, and even elementary school. What would have been lost - those connections - a generation ago when tracking someone down would require a PI, is now as simple as the click of a like.

And yet, not as simple. Clicking that like is easy, super easy, often almost mindless. Picking up the phone (after a few more clicks to find a phone number in the online alumnae directory) and making the call is still a bit daunting. And yet, so important.

So, thank you to all my friends on Facebook - for utilizing (and I hope maximizing) our use of social media to maintain our connections with each other. The depth and breadth of friendships in one's life is so deeply important and nourishing. While I may be a total Luddite when it comes to the adoption of new technologies (I still pine for my sad, sad flip phone that had to be retired this summer), I see great value, for many (but not all) in using social media and technology to stay connected or to reconnect.

Lest we forget, those friendships were established in real life on the basis of shared life experiences that can never, ever be replicated virtually. There is a fine balance to be had in using social media. When it is based on our live relationships it can enhance what we have already built. When it replaces real interactions, as it does for so many children these days, it can cause great harm.

As with all good investment advice - diversify! Call, email, and visit as well as use social media to stay connected.

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