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The Stuff of Memories

Stuff - we all mostly have too much...by we, I mean those reading this, those of us privileged to live in the first world, the developed world, the consumeristic and over-consumptive world. I showed the kids this video and we talked about it a little bit. We try hard to manage the stuff we acquire or are given, not just because we don't have a lot of space, or because many products these days are really just junk and wasteful, but also because we really don't need that much stuff and we don't want our kids to be so consumption focused.

But some things are imbued with a value, with a memory that elevates the item above its intended purpose. Obviously family heirlooms or items of significant value are already imbued. I'm talking more about the every day items we have, that we have brought into our lives, that intentionally or unintentionally are varnished with an extra layer of meaning. So then, when we use these items in the course of our daily lives, the use of these items is elevated to bring back the memory and enhance our experience.

I have a sugar container, it says "Dunkin Donuts" on the top of it. Friends got it at a giveaway when a new Dunkin Donuts opened in our neighborhood in Boston. That was over 10 year ago now. It's a nice, glass sugar container. It's a piece of crap, junk really. But it's not, because our friends gave it to us when they moved away and didn't want to move it with them. These friends now live in Los Angeles and we live in Israel. So every week when I open the sugar container to make challah, I think of them. A simple, free item makes me think of dear friends, and so now the container is part of my life story with these friends.

What's neat about this idea, that everyday items have value from the story behind their acquisition is the randomness of the memory. Some memories stick with us and others don't. Years ago I went shopping with my mother-in-law. We were in Bath and Body Works just exploring the mall together. She really wanted to buy me something and I found a very nice pumice stone, I think it was something like $20, which at the time was more than I thought reasonable to pay for such an item - an extravagance, and hence a good gift idea. She bought it for me and if my memory serves correctly, she bought herself one. It was a good food scrubber, I still have it. So now, when I use it, I think of her. Which is a little bizarre, I'm in the shower and all, but at that moment, what is connected to that item is the memory I have of that one time my mother-in-law and I found time to go out just the two of us (must have been before kids!). And that memory takes me back and reminds me of the effort that I need to put into developing a relationship with her and with all my in-laws. And that's not a bad thing to remember every few days.

So now I find myself looking around and pulling up memories as I go through my day. What can I find in those memories that will help root me in the moment and add value to the moment I am in. It's a funny place to be - between the past and the present with an eye to the future. But it is important if we are going to be on a path in life with some kind of focus and not just moving from one day to the next with little direction.

What's the end point here? Don't buy stuff, that was the start, but stuff has memories, is the continuation. So pick things that will last - spend a little more sometimes to choose the item that will be around longer, not just because it may likely reduce waste but because the memory will be with you longer too, and then you'll probably want less anyway.

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